my food baby is named Jenifer.

I miss these chicas. Hawaii just is not the same without them. Man. I am just baffled at how this week has been! So up and down and all over the place. Crying, laughing, feeling peaceful, feeling the spirit, yelling, and a lot of quiet observations. Why do i still feel like im in high school? I feel like im hiding like my first few years of high school. No one really knows who I am, and if you show too much of who you are all at once, it freaks people out..... Not that im freaky... but i really doubt anyone understands me very well. In high school, one thing i was really good at was figuring people out. I found that after meeting someone for the first time, i could make one quick assessment of them based on observation and just the feeling i get when i meet them, and then that "judgement" would ring true to me at a later time. I feel like im doing this again, being thrown into a sea of new and intimidating people. I miss my familiars. Where you don't have to be careful about what you say because they can already read your mind and were about to say the exact same thing and so you both end up laughing really hard about it. I miss laughing really hard. I want to laugh so hard that i cry and my ribs hurt! That seems to only happen with Alex lol. I want to be funny again. No one thinks im funny..... or if they do they are only laughing on the inside. I want to be in a play again! over half a year without being in a show!!!! i have not had a break from theater in a little over 5 years. But its okay... it will always be there. A mission on the other hand!!! I talked again to my bishop today and he said we could start the paper work next week!!! ah man. im so excited! Im always wondering where im going to go. Well anywho... i should probably start using paragraphs so its easier to follow my thoughts... bye!