A new song... i havent written one in so long!!

This song is about my dad and how i struggled with his death


Cant hold me back
the desert makes me wild
and im on a fast track
to conjuring your ghost

I know i cant
shouldnt think such childish things
but i let a thought
conjure your ghost now

And all that i thought was ours,
really belonged to God and dont we know it?
But we shared it with him in the hour
oh how he lets us love oh how he shows it
we never could compare
though try we dare
the stuff out there to whats right here
whats right here?

watch my wanderings
over endless desert landscape without life
and all my ponderings
bout what it all means

how ghosts are just ghosts
and dont come back unless they have reason
though i miss you most
guess im not reason enough

Just a weird thought thats not really very profound

You know when youre listening to a song thats SO good to you at that moment that you can hardly do anything else because you are so enthralled just listening to that song? well thats how I feel about 40 day dream by Edward Sharpe and the magnetic zeros. Anyway, thats not why i suddenly felt inclined to write in my long neglected blog.
The real reason is that I was thinking a lot about the law of attraction and how funny it is... like... really really really quiet weird boys tend to just go so well with complicated girls... who are kinda weird too, but theyre loud. and then i was thinking about myself and tried to picture the opposite of myself as a boy... Im okay with what i saw.

(okay for real, im in love with this song!)

And then I started thinking about what i am REALLY... because you cant really define what your opposite is until you know what you are first... so what am i?  I like to think that im not really a romantic person... but i know that if a person i really liked did something romantic... i would melt. but other peoples romance makes me very uncomfortable. And im not a huge fan of romantic movies. (okay so maybe i dont want the opposite of those qualities in a man) okay next. I enjoy being alone but also always feel like im dying of loneliness.. conundrum.  I dont need a man to make me happy... yet I blog about the possible existence of one perfect for me (which i know doesnt exist). ew. This blog is not working out the way I had planned it to!

Nah heres the thing. I just want a zebra who has stripes like mine. :)  (preferably with a beard) i can be white with black stripes and he can be white with black stripes.