i miss em

I miss my family a lot. I have been hearing a lot about people and their crazy messed up families, and i feel really grateful for the simplicity and peace that i feel about my family. Even though it is a lot more complicated... really... i feel okay about it. Sometimes we all get a long and sometimes we don't. its okay. Im really excited to see my brother Tarek this Christmas. Even though i never see him I think about him and his family all the time and i miss talking to him and laughing. he probably would never imagine that i think this haha. And i miss sharing clothes with my sister Monyca and holding baby Blaise. I wish i knew my nieces and nephews better. Especially Dallin and Keely. They probably have no idea who I am. Anywho, just a random reminiscing blog.

best book ever.

everyone needs to read the perks of being a wallflower. i got done reading it yesterday and it seriously wont leave me alone! It will make you think and make you feel good and sad and make you appreciate the good simple things in life. it might even make you feel infinite.

Not for me (New Song)

I don't wanna talk to the fly on the wall

I don't wanna talk to nobody at all

I don't really wanna be alone tonight

but feelin like this, i can win this fight

I guess you could say that i've given up

i wasn't ever aiming for a first place cup

but my soul cant even hope to survive

in a place that only ever tells it to die

it shouldn't be this hard

it shouldn't take this long

its taken this much pain

to see that this is wrong

All my "friends" try to give me advice

i can see them fake it, trying to be nice

they don't even know what goes on in my head

every night when i lye awake crying in bed

I know it seems im just being negative

its hard when you're alive and don't really live

just going through the motions, movin my feet

hiding my emotions without being discreet

it shouldn't be this hard

it shouldn't take this long

its taken this much pain

to see that this is wrong

The New Pornogrophers !!!

guess what? because roommate never comes home.... i dance in my room listening to the new pornographers. guess what else? other house mates are in the process of moving out. my life is becoming so happy!!!! no more subway! finals are over! house mates leaving! the farmers market is today AND its payday!!!!!

back to my turtle shell

well for some reason i cant type below this picture.... im slowly becoming an introvert home body. and i don't think im okay with that. the only good that has come from it, is that im more artistically inclined... since all i do it sit around and think all day. I want to go outside. I want to camp. I want to jump off of something. I want to hike stairway. Im going insane not having the tools or friends to get my outdoor fix. Its like ma drugs!!! But really... the unsettled feeling in my stomach i think is what might lead people to drugs. Or its what i imagine happening to people as they get older. they get boring. I never ever want that to happen me! will someone please let me tag along on an adventure or something? Im so tired of movies and sleeping and feeling alone. Boo. :(

In the Night (new song i wrote)

Come I know a place that we can go

hidden well but not far from the road

we can sit and talk amongst the pines

lay with me and tell of trying times

As the sun fades air is getting cold

as the sun fades i am getting bold

I don't wanna leave this spot tonight

don't want the time to take away the light

Hold my hand before i go insane

confused excited feeling i cant tame

hold me close and tell me silly things

just kiss my lips and give my heart its wings

ignore the phone no one can tell us no

please stay with me so we don't have to go

i wont say it if you don't say it first

we don't have to leave or be coerced

let me hide my hands behind your neck

look into my eyes and stay in check

warm my frozen nose against your chest

tightly in a mold we could stay pressed

i think that in the dark this peaceful night

in this peaceful night that i just might

ask you why it is we are just friends

and if you kissed me how it all would end

oh how it all would end.

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as usual any comments or criticism is appreciated! thanks for reading!