pot thoughts

no im not smoking pot. but i just might be writing a blog from the bathroom. i was sitting in the living room and i was like... the bathroom... such a weird place of relief. and then i thought of all the great thoughts that come to you while you are there... so here i am. don't be weird about it. Okay... so i gots a crush. And it started out as like an extreme crush thats all giddy and stupid weird. but now its one of those where you like them but you don't expect anything from them. personally, i think this is the better way. less disappointment. Tonight i felt like maybe the crush feelings were reciprocated but again, im not getting my hopes up. i would be totally satisfied with a friendship. I haven't had that guy friendship in my life since i have moved to Hawaii. you know how you have those guy friendships? they're usually the best kind because they don't have a lot of drama. just fun. So im totally okay with that... but he is just so darn attractive. haha. im stupid.

ps. i hate it when i go to sit down on the couch (which is sued) and i can see peoples butt prints and i don't wanna sit there...

and tonight they leave

i have my stake presidents interview tonight and then my papers get sent out tonight!!!!! That means, in two weeks i will know where i will be serving for the next year and a half! AAAAHHHHH! this is so crazy!

getting close!

Today i met with the bishop for my final interview. Can i just say that Bishop Ellis is truly inspired of God? He really is! He gave me so much good advice and made me feel so excited about going on my mission without making it too.. fluffy. He also told me how much a mission can suck but how if you just love the people all you can, it will bless you for years and years. Two hours of really inspiring stories and just being able to feel how much he loves you and cares about you. I loved every second of it. And i will be putting my papers in next week! and hopefully two weeks after that and i will have my call! aaaaah!

all you need is love (wompee nonee naaah!)

I’m Crystal. I’m a Mormon. I’m straight, and I LOVE my Gay friends.

I want to help bridge the divide between my church and the gay community.

I will never judge.

I will only love, as I have been taught in the gospel to do.

I will also pray. I will pray that others who have forgotten to love and chosen to judge will remember who they are and what they are supposed to stand for.

I promise to stand up for those bullied because of their sexual orientation, their religious convictions, or for any other reason bullying may occur.

Although i believe homosexuality is a choice I request I not be branded “brain-washed” by those who disagree with what they believe my faith teaches.

I feel for those who have felt betrayed, insulted, shocked, or outraged by the LDS position on homosexuality, and although that position may never change, I promise to be a source of compassion and friendship to those who seek it. I also promise that i will always stand by my church.

I recognize that I can never understand the heart-ache and struggle that a person or family must go through when dealing with homosexuality particularly within a religious paradigm. I promise not to make that struggle more difficult for anyone.

I will not classify Boyd K Packers talk as “Hate Speech,” but I promise to strike down hate speech against Gays and against Mormons wherever I may find it.

I promise to continue to seek the good and virtuous from the gay community, and plea that they will seek the good and virtuous from the Mormons.

There is common ground. I know we can find it. There are passionate opinions and emotions from all parties, but there is no need to be enemies.

I can only speak for myself. I know I cannot fix this alone or even at all, but I want to try. I seek those from all sides of this issue who desire a peaceful coexistence from this cultural nightmare.

Theres a storm in there

I think there may be something wrong with me. Every time i eat i get an upset stomach afterwards. As my friends may know, i have been trying for some time to return my body to a state of homeostasis by eating activia yogurt and taking fiber supplements. But now i never have an appetite and my stomach is always bloaty and irritated. And i can always here it churning.... and complaining. I can get super hungry and just look at food and it doesn't even look or sound good to me, but i eat it because i know i should and then my stomach hurts really bad afterwards. im getting tired of eating.

sick day

I am so sick. probably the first time i have been legitaly sick since moving to hawaii. ugh. the only semi good thing about it is i have no appetite so i think i might lose some weight! wish i could go out and do something fun like climb a mountain. I want to go to Montana. The mountains there look really pretty in pictures and i would like to meet them in person. I also would like to go to Eugene Oregon and hang out with my friend Ellen cuz it sounds like she is having a great time there. oh bother. I feel like im under water right now!!! And not in a cool way... just the pressure way.

Ive really been trying to use more paragraphs when i type and write because i just switch subjects so quickly that i think my writing would be hard to follow. oh well. I really like my classes this semester. Im actually sad that im too sick to attend them today. plus i probably missed something important. im okay with not seeing that girl who always eats loud smelly food in class though. (she talks to herself too... :/) its actually kind of fun to sit near her and hear what she whispers to herself.... well... i think its nap time. this ramble is ovah!!!